Discipline isn’t the real issue.The way you speak to yourself is.

For a long time, I thought progress meant being stricter.

More rules.

More willpower.

Less margin for error.

But no matter how “disciplined” I tried to be, I kept circling back to the same place - stopping, restarting, doubting myself.

What I didn’t realise then was this:

I wasn’t lacking discipline.

I was stuck in a loop of self-criticism.

Underneath it all, there was a familiar identity running the show:

• Someone who was “bad at consistency”

• Someone who needed things to be perfect before starting

• Someone who was always catching up, never quite there

So even when I wanted change, my system kept choosing what felt familiar.

This is why real change isn’t about forcing habits or pushing harder.

And it definitely isn’t about positive quotes or pretending everything’s fine.

It’s about changing the relationship you have with yourself.

Here’s what shifted things for me:

1. I stopped using self-criticism as motivation. It never worked. It only drained my energy and confidence.

2. I started building self-trust instead. Small promises. Kept consistently. No drama.

3. I learned to notice the critical voice early - and interrupt it.

   
   

Not by arguing with it, but by choosing a more supportive response that kept me moving.

That’s when consistency stopped feeling like a battle.

And started feeling… normal.

This is exactly the work I now help people with in my 1:1 wellness coaching.